you took me to places i swore id never go, someplace cold and hallow like the pit of a decayed trees trunk. all this time i didn’t know how the depth of sorrow felt, but now its so close to me i can taste it on the tip of my tongue. the cold and empty feeling inside, like warmth is no where in reach. i breath in and the cold pierces my lungs like a million shards of glass. i exhale with time passed. what is this i feel? everything stands so still, but my mind races so fast. what have i done? the battle is won, the darkness has overwhelmed the light left inside my body. its as i became a slave to the thing that will take me to my grave. can one lost soul still be saved? as panic sets in, my respitory system slows down, at a rate that only fate can save me now. i hear the echos of my past cry out to me but i cant move. i can no longer speak. its as if im paralyzed from the feet up to my clinched teeth. cant you hear my cries beneath the shallow pattern of my breath? so shallow its as if im dancing with death.

you reach for me as if you heard my cries, but your so numb inside its as if you’re just lying there to die. you feel no fear no loss as the sickness pumps through your veins, i look at you whilst a tear rolls down my face. struggling to breathe you reach for me. in a cold denial of what’s come to trial. the fear jolts you as if a lightning bolt, you turn to rescue me, but the shallows of my breath disappeared, is death really this near? you told me it was safe, looked me in my face, all you wanted was for the shame to be tamed, to not feel the depth of darkness resting on the imminent fact you took me to the depth of a place I swore id never go.

you sit still in the shame of the darkness that’s become of us, climbing and crying out for the light that’s no where in sight. i gasp for air suddenly through the pain of what feels like blood oozing from my lungs from the thousands of shards of glass scrapping my throat as it feels so heavy like i choke. but in a sudden instance I’m there. all has become still. you look at me with guilt, but standing so still you fall into the glistening silver of sin. playing this game of Russian roulette with your life, bleeding out so much strife to your wife. can somebody hear the silent screams as i watch my dreams vanish into the depths of despair tonight.

its still. too still. somethings got to give, will the price be your life? somethings we just cant get right. devils calling, will you pick up? the enticing taste of sin, dancing on your lips, i reach for a kiss and i feel it suck the life out of me. pulling me in to the darkness of this sin with you. a battle you cant win, the chains so heavy as i drown while you’re on the other side of town. the crisp cold air as sirens blare by distorted by the chemicals exposed to my brain. its a sick game one that i cant tame.

i look up through the depths of the dark waters i reach for the glimmer of light that seems so far as the weight of the chains keep pulling me deeper, and deeper into the abyss. choking on the weight of the ice cold glass i inhale piercing the innocence of my lungs. what have i done? can anyone even hear me now? I’m stuck in a place i swore id never go… only God can save me now..

~to be continued..

XoBarnes