I’m shaking drinking this coffee, these last few weeks have been exauhsting. Realizing its okay to not be fine. I just want to get lost in the sunrise. Feel the cold morning breeze come over my body, breath in deep, exhale slow. As i close my eyes you’re all i see. Would someone recue me? I turn to God as i know he will never fail me. My angels have me when im feeling unstable, i just look up at the sky when its so beautiful and realize its because they’re up there.

Love and Loss, we Sit back and realize, were in love with a version of someone weve created in our heads to fulfill the empty void. Someone we cannot fix, thee only thing we can fix is ourselves. I remind myself this has gone on far to long, enough is enough. I got in a habit of seeing what isn’t there. I needed something to believe in. My imaginations to creative. It was just all in my head, inhale, exhale move forward. I still tremble with my coffee turning cold in my hands, when does it end? Well lose our minds if we try to stay in the lines.

You see this is the story of a girl whose been broken, but not demolished. These felings are whithin, what you see on the surface is different. I’m not concerned with drama, or empathy. I need to know, we need to know, were okay with no one else. The games they play were never fun, they said they would stay, but they would always run. I’m not afraid anymore. Home alone this morning, in my head. drowning in my thoughts, every piece of me is being built back up in my own mind. Teaching myself to live without dependency. It’s just what happens when were “bored”. I’m addicted to all these things. I fall to my knees, why do we question lifes existence? When we indeed exist for life itself.

Shadows that follow us through the night still haunt us in these early mornings. So, Where’s my mind? If i had done something a little bit differently, things would have moved in a different direction then this. But this is where i am supposed to be, God put me here. We’re all human, i thought i did something, but i didn’t do anything but follow fates trail, the long narrow road to my destiny. Becoming who i ammeant to be. Being still in these very moments, reflecting, it is surreal.

Don’t take this the wrong way, i was put in harms way. Life wasn’t lying when it stung. We say to life I thought i loved you, you were my drug, lifes become my drug, this pain i thrive off of. Living in a simple dream, remembering everything. Where’s my mind again? On the fence all the time. Learn to love life again. When we wake up, its to not be afraid, fight those demons. Being me means to not be scared to breath and to face this, so when i wake up, let me be. I need to fill the voild, but i don’t need you to feel alive.

Our insecurities are our own worst enemy. They tell us what we want to hear, I never want to live in fear again. Don’t hold back the things we need to say. Let them flow like the wild river they are, don’t let fear have control of our minds. Tell that version of ourselves that we have created in our heads to just let go, we wont do this anymore. Life draws us into focus, I no longer question where’s my mind. The force in my head is telling me, its time now, never look back. Life gets us high when were so low, go ahead and cry, you know we all do. Wake up and realize today is brand new. Ill tell you what I’m thinking about.. Just lost in the moment.

For now, Over n out… XOXO Maldo