I got your head and you have my shoulder. You take the lead I’ll take your hand and follow you. Let’s move somewhere colder when we’re older. I cut the breaks and hit the throttle. I’ve been dazed and confused from the day we met, am I losin my mind? Is this real life, do I dare to open my eyes. Will I ever get my head right. Congested in two places at once. It’s like tug of war at my heart. It’s never to late to be who you wanna be and say what you wanna say. I can’t can’t get you out of my veins, can I crawl into yours? How do you feel when you think of me. I feel crazy for wanting you to myself. Way back when we were talking to each other I can feel it. Long nights in the back seat of the car, starring at the stars, walking on the shore as waves crash, my heart ignites, is this how you feel when you think of me ?? My mind feels like it’s running all the red lights tonight. I can feel it in these feelings leaving, but power thriving for the real life. You got me now so swallow me down, cause baby I’m a hard pill to swallow. So many walked away. You had me in the palm of your hand I gave you permission and you were always forgiven. I left a bad taste in your mouth so fine go ahead and spit me out. I’ve got no shame. You’re the reason, for more then you will know. There goes my heart beating again. I’m losing more sleep, my mind racing. I face the consequences of my actions. Trust issues. Let down my fences, but loving the way I do has its consequences running on lower expectations. I want something safe and sound when I let down my defenses. Should have followed my senses. We couldn’t help it but you know it doesn’t make it right. Someone else is what you needed to feel right. I can take it all, the pain, the pleasure. We’re only human I never learned, until now. To just take the fall.

They all promised the world and I believed it, I adored it. Sorry I was blind, sorry with the things I left behind. There was signs, of course I ignored it. I went into the past relationships so blindly. Like a song I adore, I needed to lose you to love me, I needed to hate you to love me. You needed to hurt me for me to love me. They all know I gave my all. I was flawed and not perfect and I’m sorry, but I didn’t deserve it. But I learned from it. I found myself. Something that was lost for years as I’ve lost increments as time passes. loving my self was the greatest accomplishment this last half a year. I won’t fall for these promises anymore. For I learned to many lessons from what I’ve loved and lost. I would beg them to come out and play. Alone in my car at night, I would talk softly but they always wanted me awfully quiet. Could have been so many happy ever afters, I should have known all of them would be disasters. To distracted by my intoxication. I was so rich with all this love, until I found out how hallow it was, I should have ran. One of you acted like you were gold, walking around so boldly, but I was just another victim someone you thought you could play. I had a feeling and I didn’t listen. I should have heard my gut. I let you in, all that’s left was nothing. You left me for something new and gave the best of me away, for someone worth much less then I am. I met someone new myself then, and they lifted me beyond words. But this isn’t about the now. It’s about the hurt that got me here. To whom I’m with now I know you always show me you’re mine, you’re my savior don’t take this wrong. I can lay with you in bed in the afternoon talking about how we broke every rule in the book for each other to prove we were worth each others time. I made a stranger fall In love with me. I fell hard like a fool although I never put myself in danger the way I did when I first laid eyes on you. Gods timing was impeccable. I’ll show you you’ll always be mine I don’t wanna waste another day. Even when it gets late and we talk about how crazy our fate is. My past relationships paved me to whom I am. The broken girl that you fell in love with, so for now you be secure in that.

16 years of heart ache can take its toll on a girls soul. I’ve been having dreams, scattered in the air. Sometimes I just want to stay there. How am I remembered? Does it really truly matter? I’m so sensitive. All these demons hiding underneath you’re the reason that keeps me from falling off the deep end. At first I thought I was alright, bittersweet by my self but then my knees got weak I knew I needed help you’re the one who gave me hope. The only home I wanna go to. Your arms now. You’re the thing that keeps me from diving off the deep end. EXES haunt me like a curse. I didn’t understand how you loved me and kept me alive forgiving me and giving me hope. Cause you’re the only one who really knows. Who stayed. So many times they’ve walked out that door. You’re the only one who came back and stayed. On the days I have doubts you never let me down even when I hit the bottom you don’t let me drown, you lift me to the surface to breath. My new life compared to my past is drastic. My new reality. I’m finally loving to be loved. I think of you all often, but I’m not lonely. It’s been me myself and I but now I’m whole again. So when you think of me, know I thank you for the heart ache because I found myself and what real love means. I may never heal but I’ve learned. For now over n out…

XOXO Maldo