You cant pretend you don’t miss me… What a shame I’m not there. Every now and then it gets me. You walked your way I walked mine. I guess being lonely fits me as they say.. But then, he came along, I blinked and a fresh breath of air entered my lungs. Someone new came to comfort me in a way you never could. Like a melody with My Heart Beat. I have a new addiction, is there a 12 step just for him? Before this I wanted to see the world before I stopped breathing. I Thought they all leave like they do, Love is endless, I was leaving.. But a spark ignited inside of my soul. I was brought back to life. Even if theres no other way but down, tasting me and my salty tears on my cheeks uplifting me as we speak. I’m grateful, because now I know how to breath again. There is a way out, its not down and I’m not sorry.

I want to hide him in my mind. What feels true, because he feels, right so stay. Don’t leave like the rest. If youre reading this you know its true, to you. Just let me hold you to myself in the depths of my thoughts into my soul. Your blue green eyes stare deep into mine and I lose control. The world stops spinning, its just us. Where did you come from? When youre with me I’m not alone. I was alone in a crowded room until you came along. Please, don’t leave. I have told my self not to worry, I tell myself don’t ask questions. Just Exhale, they all know, or do they? Are we our own secret? Your secrets are safe with me.

I was drinking one down like I wanted to end me. The spark that ignited this flame to burn so bright will not go out even if you leave. Ill keep you in the dark, until were expected. Maybe were something that shouldn’t be said out loud? He leaves me speacheless, his eyes connect to mine and I freeze ineveidbly. Its as if no one else exists but us two and the world stops spinning just for us, You leave me breathless. everything I have ever longed for, bottled up into you and your ocean blue green eyes. How did I get here? Luck? Fate? My Faith?

I know if you know who you are and youre reading this your heart may have dropped into you stomach. don’t be afraid, I’m used to feeling deeper then others. I only disappoint myself If I expect the same in return. I’m open to anything at this point that God sends my way. I ponder as you look into my eyes, is this yet another phase? Is this a lesson? Or is this real? What is real anymore? With such significant loss I wouldn’t be surprised anymore. But I remain open to the idea that maybe, just maybe true love does exist in this dark world somewhere.. I do know every mountain we climb, every path we take has a higher meaning and a higher purpose then we may be able to fathom at the present moment; I lean on that.

I feel like this connection could make dead roses bloom. I know I scare you, don’t run. Yet again, everybody knows, or do they? I’m used to being labeled the “bad guy” for what? My pure raw honesty that’s foreign to most? I cant stop staring at your eyes. I’m scared, ive never fallen quite this hard this fast. Life has its chapters, I ponder on how long this one will be.. no fair, no fair. .

I slow down my breathing as my heart beats out of my chest, I don’t want my heart to break, so ive learned to just be ready for that. No attachments. Love Myself before loving others. Make Myself happy, But I still, sit in the silence floating, as I drowned in those blue eyes late last night. It doesn’t matter where I go at the end of every road, nothing lasts forever. I’m so scared of growing old. I’m so used to letting go but I don’t want to be alone. Hold me, God only knows where my fears go. I had a dream I was told when I’m with you no one can hurt you. That’s the way I want you to feel. You say this world doesn’t deserve me, they called me weak, you view me as deep. I had a dream I woke up with everything I wanted, you beside me. Everybody knows, or do they? Will they?

I put my heart at peace knowing what will be will be. Those big blue green eyes still drown me. I really would like you to stay.. I’m lucky, I’m looking forward to thanking my past. Lets do this right. Light up the night with these sparks we ignite… When youre right here I come alive, I’m just going to live in this moment.

XOXO Maldo